Stronger everyday

OK, so now the news from last week has had time to settle.  Sometimes it just takes a few days-and a trip to Utah-to for news like that to sink in, and for you to gain some proper perspective on it.

So I'll tell you more about what was found.  First of all, a heart murmur was found during his well-child checkup.  This would not normally be cause for concern, because they're very common during the toddler years, but a murmur can cause complications during anesthesia, which would be bad, but it is also another marker of a connective tissue disorder (scoliosis is another marker).  So you can see where my mind went when the dr said, I think we need another opinion because I think he has a heart murmur.  So she went and got another dr in the same office and he came and listened.  Russell does have a heart murmur, but it is an "innocent" murmur, and they think it's just louder because of his scoliosis putting pressure on his heart.  So I had this moment of panic, but it's really all ok. He's fine.

Then, the dr pointed out that he's still behind in motor skills and speech, of which we knew, but I had not thought was a big deal (and I still don't) because he's still progressing.  Very rapidly these days.  She just brought it up because it was a well-child checkup, and I guess they're supposed to.  So I already knew, and I don't think this is a big deal either. She also talked about his weight-which dropped two curves, and his height-which dropped two curves also.  Our kids have all been tiny-Tyler dropped weight curves a lot as a baby too.  And as for his height-it's probably because he's had a cast on-anchored to his hips and his shoulders, making it hard to grow taller.

The next day, the physical therapist came to our house, also discussed that he was behind.  She did an assessment of all his muscle groups, and this was the bad news-she found that ALL his muscles are weak.  He has low muscle tone in his arms, his legs, his hips, and of course in his back and torso area.  The low tone in his arms and legs is strange though.  She (and we) thought that he'd be stronger there, simply due to the heavy cast he's been carrying around.  So I'm concerned about this.  I was more concerned when I first heard about it, and very scared because this is another marker for a connective tissue disorder, but he's been progressing in this area this last week.  The PT taught us some exercises for him, and I've found some ways to get him to do variations of them (hello, he's a TWO year old) and he seems stronger to me.  One that I do is with the microwave.  He LOVES the microwave buttons (they all beep!).  So I hold him by his hips and legs far enough away that he has to do a superman-like formation to reach out and push the buttons and open the microwave door.  He's grunting the whole time.  It's pretty funny.  I think it's just funny that it's so motivating to him. I can't get him to do this exercise any other way.  He is getting stronger though.  He climbed into his high chair all by himself, much to the surprise of Scott and I, yesterday.  So he's progressing.

And then, the very next day, our case manager came by (Russell's in an infant to 3 program), because she was concerned with what the PT found and wanted to schedule his appointments closer together, like every week.  And this is a really good idea; I'm totally in favor of it.  However, three days of consecutive worries, and fears brought up is apparently enough to do me in.  I was angry that she came by-probably because it made me feel scared for Russell- and I just wanted her to go.  I wanted some GOOD news, not more of the same bad news I'd had all week.

Anyway, I'm glad to say that I've calmed down somewhat, and I feel peace in my heart that he's ok.  The last week made me scared that there was something else wrong with Russell's health.  But I'm pretty sure that if there really were something else wrong, we'd find it.