Friday, April 27, 2012
Complimenting
I just have to say...yesterday was a good day. I'd been
praying to have a better attitude and not concentrate so much on the bad.
I've been reading "As A Man Thinketh", recommended to me by my mother. It's a short book written by James Allen in the early 1900's. I am in the middle of the book, and so far it's been really good. It talks about how our thoughts are what make up who we are. Our thoughts, positive or negative, affect our physical health, mental health, state of happiness or misery, our success or failure. Two people can experience the same thing, yet react very differently depending on their thoughts in relation to what happened. We are in control of our thoughts, which means we are in control of our lives, no matter what happens, good or bad.
I'm trying to teach some of these concepts to my children. Makes sense to give them a head start on something I'm still figuring out. It's very difficult to do however. Children often feel that they don't have much control over their lives. So I'm trying to teach them that they DO have control over how they react to situations. That a situation by itself can't make you angry. It's your thoughts that make you angry. That's really hard to distinguish for me...so I get why my children have a hard time figuring this out too.
This whole experience with Russell has kind of brought out the worst side of me to my children. I've been angry alot, and I don't say very nice things when I'm angry.
But last night, one of my children went with me to the store. That particular child and I have been clashing a lot lately. Even when I try to be supportive and kind, this child takes most of what I say the wrong way, and gets really offended. This has really bothered me. I haven't been able to talk to her, really talk, for a while now. It's like she doesn't know I love her. She isn't this way with Scott. She becomes this really sweet, kind, funny little girl again with him.
So I had decided to put extra effort into not reacting to whatever she said or did. I'd also figured out that this child LOVES compliments. So I complimented her alot while we were out.
We had a great time together, meaning that she didn't get angry with me the whole time we were out, and I think it had a lot to do with the compliments. My complimenting her helped me to have kinder thoughts towards her, and it helped me to not dwell on other stuff. I hadn't realized that I'd become critical towards her. I am hoping that it also helped her to know that I think highly of her, that I am proud of who she is, and that she always has my love.
Sometimes being a mother is really hard. But last night was good. I hope it's the start of what will be a better relationship.
I've been reading "As A Man Thinketh", recommended to me by my mother. It's a short book written by James Allen in the early 1900's. I am in the middle of the book, and so far it's been really good. It talks about how our thoughts are what make up who we are. Our thoughts, positive or negative, affect our physical health, mental health, state of happiness or misery, our success or failure. Two people can experience the same thing, yet react very differently depending on their thoughts in relation to what happened. We are in control of our thoughts, which means we are in control of our lives, no matter what happens, good or bad.
I'm trying to teach some of these concepts to my children. Makes sense to give them a head start on something I'm still figuring out. It's very difficult to do however. Children often feel that they don't have much control over their lives. So I'm trying to teach them that they DO have control over how they react to situations. That a situation by itself can't make you angry. It's your thoughts that make you angry. That's really hard to distinguish for me...so I get why my children have a hard time figuring this out too.
This whole experience with Russell has kind of brought out the worst side of me to my children. I've been angry alot, and I don't say very nice things when I'm angry.
But last night, one of my children went with me to the store. That particular child and I have been clashing a lot lately. Even when I try to be supportive and kind, this child takes most of what I say the wrong way, and gets really offended. This has really bothered me. I haven't been able to talk to her, really talk, for a while now. It's like she doesn't know I love her. She isn't this way with Scott. She becomes this really sweet, kind, funny little girl again with him.
So I had decided to put extra effort into not reacting to whatever she said or did. I'd also figured out that this child LOVES compliments. So I complimented her alot while we were out.
We had a great time together, meaning that she didn't get angry with me the whole time we were out, and I think it had a lot to do with the compliments. My complimenting her helped me to have kinder thoughts towards her, and it helped me to not dwell on other stuff. I hadn't realized that I'd become critical towards her. I am hoping that it also helped her to know that I think highly of her, that I am proud of who she is, and that she always has my love.
Sometimes being a mother is really hard. But last night was good. I hope it's the start of what will be a better relationship.
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