Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Day 17
Well...today was not so good. More leaky diapers, plus
diarrhea. So lots of time spent with the blow dryer on Russell's bum. So hard
to prevent diaper rash without the ability to just put him in the bath. So
he's not a very happy guy right now.
I also have to clarify about the crawling. He only crawled about 4 "steps" or so, and hasn't really tried since. What he keeps trying to do, repeatedly is to get up on all fours (feet and hands), like he's doing "plank", and then he tries to use momentum and push himself up to standing from that position. He's getting pretty frustrated that he can't even get his hands off the floor when he does that. I wish I could tell him that NO ONE I know can do that. I'm glad he's experimenting though. That's the only way he's going to figure out how to be mobile.
I wish I knew how to not be angry about this cast. Yes, I'll admit it, I"m angry. Probably sounds wierd, because we chose this. We chose to do this treatment, and I still know it's the right thing for Russell. But I guess I"m just angry because it's so hard. I can't really even spell out why it's so hard. When I list the things that it changes about our lives, it doesn't seem like a long list. So am I just feeling sorry for myself? Well, that may not have been the right question...because I am definitely feeling sorry for myself. I just wish I knew what to do with this anger. And I'm embarrassed that you all know how sad I am. There are so many people out there with a lot harder things going on in their lives than this, and a lot of them are dealing with it in such a better way. And please don't call me and tell me you read this. It will honestly just embarrass me more. But I'm hoping that by writing it, I get a little closer to feeling better. And closer to knowing how to stop being angry and sad.
I also have to clarify about the crawling. He only crawled about 4 "steps" or so, and hasn't really tried since. What he keeps trying to do, repeatedly is to get up on all fours (feet and hands), like he's doing "plank", and then he tries to use momentum and push himself up to standing from that position. He's getting pretty frustrated that he can't even get his hands off the floor when he does that. I wish I could tell him that NO ONE I know can do that. I'm glad he's experimenting though. That's the only way he's going to figure out how to be mobile.
I wish I knew how to not be angry about this cast. Yes, I'll admit it, I"m angry. Probably sounds wierd, because we chose this. We chose to do this treatment, and I still know it's the right thing for Russell. But I guess I"m just angry because it's so hard. I can't really even spell out why it's so hard. When I list the things that it changes about our lives, it doesn't seem like a long list. So am I just feeling sorry for myself? Well, that may not have been the right question...because I am definitely feeling sorry for myself. I just wish I knew what to do with this anger. And I'm embarrassed that you all know how sad I am. There are so many people out there with a lot harder things going on in their lives than this, and a lot of them are dealing with it in such a better way. And please don't call me and tell me you read this. It will honestly just embarrass me more. But I'm hoping that by writing it, I get a little closer to feeling better. And closer to knowing how to stop being angry and sad.
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